Sunday, 27 April 2014

Exciting new Werechicken covers!

I've been blessed with the help of two enormously talented Redditors who have created covers for the Werechicken.

First up is u/Crowqueen's incredibly detailed hand-drawn cover:

The second is by user Artemis_Aquarius, whose cover stars just the titular werechicken, and the wizardess, Thorn. These are represented by two well-fitting stock photos who have been lovingly dubbed 'sassy chicken' and 'snowy broad' (the original stock photo had her in a snowy field):

Both users came up with completely different cover ideas, but I think they're both fantastic.

That being said, I now have two amazing covers that I can't choose between (and Art and Crow are very selfishly refusing to fight to the death to decide the matter) so my plan is to use one for the Smashwords version, and the other for Amazon. That will happen ASAP.

I feel very fortunate to have been given the assistance of these two massively talented people :-)

Until next time,


Sunday, 20 April 2014

On. Fire.

I've just finished the first draft of Bookworm, being the sequel to Worm - which you can have for free from down here \/

It ended up being a little different from what I had intended, but I like how it turned out. Worm is a very easy character to write.

It's going to be a bit of a rewriting process as I didn't really work out the other characters' traits until nearer the end, so I'll have to go back and give them personalities earlier in the book when they were essentially cardboard cutouts.

The total word count is 28k or so. A good novella length.

The story covers Worm's first week back at university, trying to reacquire his law degree. The legal business has changed since he was last a part of it. It has been overrun by vampires. Most, if not all, of the large law firms are run by vampires, and they like it that way. The vampires in the law class at Unity College like to run off any non-vampire competition within the first few days. What they didn't count on is that one of the non-vampires would be a demon. A demon who doesn't necessarily think that an all-vampire legal sector is such a great idea.

Worm also has to deal with the insignificant problem of having no money to his name. However, he has a plan: the university's catacombs are rumoured to hold a secret treasure trove of magical artefacts that could fetch a pretty penny, setting up Worm and his fellow treasure hunters for life. However, the catacombs are a dark and lonely place. Dangerous too. A good number of students who venture down there are never seen again…

It'll be available soon… ish.


Wednesday, 2 April 2014

Top Ten Tips for Writers

Since it seems that everybody and their grandmother is putting out a "top ten tips for writers" post to draw people into their blogs: I'm doing it too. I wouldn't want you people to think I was too good for pandering to the lowest common denominator (because I'm really not).  

Top Ten Tips for Writers 

1. Never actually publish anything.  

Nothing ruins your writer-mystique like publishing your works. If you can tell people I'm a writer, and give them a vague description of your WIP, I bet they'll be really impressed. However, if you go ahead and publish something, they might read it and find out you don't know what you're doing after all.  

2. Stock up on duct tape, and throwaway mobile phones (burners). 

You need to get reviews somehow, hostage taking is a very effective method. Oh, you'll need a van too. 

3. A comfy pair of slippers is essential to being a writer.  

'Nuff said.  

4. Ignore all criticism.  

Anyone who doesn't love your work just doesn't get you. Smite them! 

5. Write drunk, and edit drunk too.  

Because editing sucks, and you need something to help you get through it.  

6. Never EVER use the word 'said'.  

It's dull. There are so many better words to use, like spluttered, ejaculated, spilt. That kind of thing.  

7. Erotica is where the money is. 

They say write about what you're enthusiastic about. Who isn't enthusiastic about sex? Also, if you have some weird fetish, you can write about that and get a part of a niche market.  

8. You're not a serious writer unless you're spending your weekends in Starbucks with your MacBook. 

Again, 'Nuff said. 

9. There's no money in writing. 

After you have written your first book, get working on your 'How To' series about being a writer. Don't worry if no-one recognises your name, no-one knows who any of these how-to people are. 

10. If all else fails: rip someone off.  

I'm a lawyer and this is legal advice: plagiarism is bloody hard to prove in a court of law. Go for it.  


Steve Birdman, Attorney at Law

The above is intended for humorous purposes only, and number 10 is NOT legal advice in any shape or form, no matter what I said in it. I will not be held accountable for anything you bastards do as a result of reading this blog. Oh, and re number 2: kidnapping is a crime. Don't do that either. 

Tuesday, 1 April 2014

Updating the to-do list

I've now finished a draft each of parts 1 & 2 of The Hammer.

In case you haven't been following: I'm now a productive, serious writer. Yup, that's me.

The plan for The Hammer is to give series-writing a bash. I will release parts 1 & 2 shortly. Part 1 will be free, and part 2 will be $2.99. I will draw you in with part 1, and you will love it so much you will just have to know what happens next, and buy part 2. Then part 3 when it comes out as well.

What a dastardly plan! Ahahahaha!

Anyway, my writing brain is exhausted. I'm off for an early night.